Unbecoming

In a span of seven days, I transacted with, met, and saw several people who are so unbecoming. Just a few minutes ago, I talked to a well-known bank's Customer Service staff via phone. The tone of her voice was so arrogant. She spoke in Filipino but didn't use "po" and "opo". I am the customer, but as if she was just talking to a non-customer whom she doesn't respect. I see her whenever I visit their branch and her personality depicts what she is on phone. What a front-liner?!

The other people, I couldn't disclose their identities sa sobrang dami nila, mostly girls.

These people are so irritating, right? I even asked myself the reason for their existence for they aren't of any help to me and to many others who are also irritated of them.

Nevertheless, I need to see things in a positive way. Kahit negatibo na agad ang pinakita nila sa akin, kailangan kong barahin 'yon. My upbeat thought in this post is that they are obstacles that I must surpass to test my calmness and grace no matter what the situation is.

I can do this because I must surpass this. Che!

Love

I have been thinking several times whether to write on this or not. The causes of my hesitation are that I might not get the thoughts right, I might miss some other things, or I might feel the pain again. Basta, bahala na.

2009 was really memorable to me and taught me many things about love.

Before, whenever I see a couple na isa lang sa kanila ang may magandang itsura o ang nasa magandang estado sa buhay, I used to ask myself, "Why?" and then arrive at a conclusion that "Yung isa sa kanila hindi nag-iisip nang mabuti."

But when I experienced being alone (you know what I mean), I realized sobrang maling mali ako, as in. So immature of me to have such thought. Well, probably, 'yung iba, hindi na nag-isip nang mabuti kasi malapit na sila sa "finish line" or just very desperate to move on and forget the previous pain they felt.

Pero sa totoo lang, true love does not see the physicality of an individual, I mean kung sinuman man 'yung taong mamahalin 'nya. It's the feeling that everything would be alright whenever you are with him/her. It's the feeling that every hindrance would be surpassed with him/her as your number one supporter.

I also learned that some of the secrets of a lasting relationship as in marriage is that one has to be submissive to his/her partner at kapag nakakasakal na ng sobra, well, talk it over, talk it over, and talk it over because marriage is so sacred that nothing should ever break it. Hindi ito tulad ng pagiging mag-jowa na pwdeng mag-break or cool-off at kapag ayaw na talaga, go search for another one or merely wait.

Moreover, I learned that if you really love a person, you will give the best for him/her; OR if ever you lost him/her and you want him/her back, punan mo ang lahat ng naging pagkukulang mo sa kanya. Lugi ka nga lang kung talagang ayaw na sa'yo ng tao at ibang usapan na ito.

In summary, the failed relationship I had with one of the very important persons in my life opened my eyes to the world of reality that once in a while, one has to be alone to see the world clearly in his own perspective for him to think of accurate things for his survival.

New

I woke up at 5:45AM. I knew I would be experiencing the super hassle in MRT, so I decided to take a bus instead. Though at the back of my mind was that thought that I might be late for work, I did not make the motion I usual do whenever I am getting late. Rather, I did things (pagtupi ng mga nilabhang damit, pag-ayos ng higaan, and preparing myself for work) calmly, which is something new for me. As I walk through the roads going to EDSA and then to our office building, I felt like everything was new, though they were all familiar.

I do not know if I am just convincing myself to see all things new to forget all the kabadtripan in 2009 or I just miss this jungle after a 10-day vacation with Mt. Mayon in my sight.

To be a calm person is really one of my New Year's resolution. 2009 had been so harsh to me, in all aspects, which are depicted on my previous posts. It was also the year when I had lots of panics. So for 2010, I will lessen those and be a calm person.

Today

Since I arrived home, I usually sleep at 12:00 midnight and wake up at 10:00AM. In effect, my first meal is brunch (combination of breakfast and lunch). Same thing happened today, with some reflections from what transpired in last night's high school friends reunion.

I missed my friends so much. One of them I was able to talk to after almost 5 years but things have not changed drastically. All of them are still the closest friends of mine I once knew. And since we have come of age, we could now talk about our ex-crushes and lovers without bitterness. We just laughed at every thing, making our house the noisiest in the neighborhood due to loud laughing as always.

Our food was great with all the bring and share stuffs. Marami ngang natira, so marami kaming pagkain ngayon. hehe.

However, because four of them were not able to attend and in time for one of my friends' birthday, we have scheduled another get-together before I go back to the jungle of Manila. This time, not in our house, but in a yet to be disclosed restaurant. Hmmm.

I really miss the bonding we had in high school, specially that we went to different colleges and universities and that my former love life did not permit me to see them that often without my then boyfriend as chaperon.

Oh well, 2010 is coming. One day na lang. One of my wishes for next year is that whenever I get home, I could give whatever my family asks from me. I will work out for it. I must!

Almost The End

It is so amazing how time passes by so fast, as in really fast. It's almost the end of the year, which gave my life so much color, both bright and gloomy ones.

Last week, I participated in the Kumpisalang Bayan in our Parish -- the first time I had the sacrament of confession in Manila. While I was talking to God to prepare myself for my conversation with the priest, I realized it has been so long since I last talked to God that serious. I promised Him I'll do everything to meet him in church every Sunday. But I was not able to do that last Sunday, kasi ang daming tao, I knew mahihilo na naman ako. I felt so ashamed to Him, which urged me to have my eyes checked when I get home para hindi na ma-compromise ang participation ko sa church pagmaraming tao. So I will welcome 2010 with eyeglasses.

Other than new eyeglasses, I will also welcome 2010 will less worries, better career (promise na talaga), and more love and grace despite pressure.

Well, this post is supposed to be a recap of what transpired in my life in 2009, though the year has not ended yet. Kasi naman ngayon lang ako nagka-time to blog again. Partida nga, ang dami kong ka-chat while writing this down. I also don't know if we already have Internet connection when I arrive home.

In 2009...

I had lots of career opportunities both from the private and government sectors -- better ones, really. I was about to give in to their piracy on me. But things were not on the right places then, so I stayed with my DTI family, which leveled the pirates' offers. Honestly, the DTI had the lowest offer. Hehe. But I realized things will be better in due time and I am learning a lot here.

Yhen "The Fashionista Kitty" and Aye "The Ex-Sem Horsy" entered the DTI-CMO family. With their arrival, our office became the noisiest of all (I think). Yhen initiated the clearing of the DTI Website, which attracted me to be in direct touch with the site. Haha. Aye, on the other hand, is the real epitome of a true seminarian. He added more kahalayan, I mean kabutihan, in the office, especially when it comes to photo enhancements and other audio visual stuffs.

I was diagnosed with laryngopharyngeal reflux (LPR) -- a disease characterized by the overflowing of acids from the stomach lining to the throat. So I had to give up eating (or just seldom eat/drink) chocolates, coffee, tea, and tomato-based food -- my favorites.

My sister made it to their College Student Council's (CSC) presidential post. In spite of all my discouragement, she still took the risk. Hard-headed Lally talaga. So far, all their projects were successful but she is still suffering the burden, syempre, Presidente eh. Pero masaya sya sa ginagawa n'ya to be of service to her schoolmates.

Suan graduated in high school. I accompanied him in his college campus hopping for him to decide were to spend his tertiary education.

I had my Manila Hotel experience. Nakakatakot but fun experience huh.

We all (if not most of us) experienced the many typhoons' hagupit. For my part, I had my Ondoy, Pepeng, and Santi experiences, which I already wrote in my previous posts. Because of these typhoons, I discovered I have the tendency to panic whenever I get nervous.

My officemates and I went to Sofitel for an international gathering of top business process outsourcing (BPO) company executives. So sosi but so sad we were not able to get good pictures. Nevertheless, Jam's digicam did its best. Haha.

My officemates and I went to Divisoria -- my first and last for this year.

My long-time boyfriend and I broke up. The event made our lives became so open even to those who are not that close to us. "A very controversial break up," as my ex says.

I did not make it again to the DTI-System on Performance Rewards and Incentives (SPRInts) for the second straight year. This is an award given to excellent DTI employees. Well, it just goes to show I am not excellent, di ba? I really am not, I know. I am happy for those who made it because in the government sector, people seldom acknowledge monetarily or through other benefits an employee's excellent performance. Madalas, dapat tumanda, maaksidente, o mamatay muna ang isang empleyado bago parangalan o makatanggap ng anumang incentive.

There.

So colorful 2009. I wish for a better 2010 and even better years ahead.

What now?

While I was walking along the street of Gil Puyat this morning, I realized I need to blog again. But of course questions came into my mind before I finally decided to do this again after two weeks. Would it hurt still? Would I cry? How would my readers react? But no, I am free, so I can write anything.

Yes, it still hurts. Sometimes I still catch myself tulala but I didn't cry anymore after the confrontation we had last week.

We decided to be friends. We still see each other once a week but are not committed; ergo, no promises, no expectations, no demands. This thing is kinda hard because I was so used to his always being present and ready whenever I need him. I miss his daily text messages, his cuisine, and the rules he had set for our relationship.

But looking back, in the past six months of always seeing each other and having "our daily routine", we realized we are happier now with this situation. We communicate better now, understand each other, don't fight, and don't disagree on anything. Everything is so light, no rush. Things are much better indeed.

Having him in the future is so blurry now. But life is beautiful and doesn't revolve around boys. 'Di ba? Asus!

With what happened, I learned a lot of people love me and there is more of life. For now, I am focusing on my career (so showbiz), family, and lots of friends.

To the people who were hurt because of this, Law and I are sorry. We need this for our maturity and our own families. We still love each other, but things are much better this way.

When best comes to worst

Some of my best moments in life happened when we were still together. The worst so far happened yesterday, after we decided to finally break up. This worst thing is still happening now as I can feel the pain and sadness, of course as aftermath of what recently happened.

When I told my closest officemates about it, they didn't believe me at first because they were used to our one-day break ups or simple misunderstandings. But things were really different prior to it, that's why we both agreed on our relationship's death.

The past days, a lot of misunderstandings that led to fights happened. Until we both became cold toward our relationship. We still saw each other but very few conversions took place and he was so quiet -- a thing so unusual of him. I kept on asking him to say something like how his day was, housemates, family, travel, etc., but he just replied, "I have nothing to tell you." -- as short as that. I couldn't get the catch. It's hard to explain a person's point when only few and abstract words or reaction come from his mouth or face.

Uh, I'll keep this post short for now. I'm not yet ready to write every thing. I need to take care of my health, so I need to be strong, right? Oh, by the way, he knows that whenever I cry, I couldn't breathe well. There.

He gave up already. So I let him go.

The many changes

The only thing constant in this world is change. I do not need to enumerate samples of universal changes because this page would not be enough if I do so. But I do have my list of changes I see and experience in a micro way (oah! that's so Economics huh!). Check these out:

• Before, we do things in sweet ways. Now, we do not do things in sweet ways. We, the young ones, really need to listen to our elders. They often say only the early part of a boy-girl relationship is sweet, the rest is not so, until it becomes bitter. This is so true. Promise!
• Before, I am skinny. Now, I am soo fat.
  
• Before, I receive my salary on-time or day before the pay-day. Now, I am not getting the definition of a pay-day, since it is now called pay-late. This is true to me only.
• Before, I can live with just prawn crackers as my meal. Now, I need to eat heavy at day time and only fruits at night.
• Before, I love seeing him everyday. Now, I wish we seldom see each other so that we would miss each other and also seldom fight.
• Before, I can upload photos in my Friendster account. Now, I can't do it anymore. It must be the Internet system.
• Before, I wanted to be rich. Now, I just want to live a simple life.
• Before, I thought all college deans are reputable. Now, I realized it is not the Doctorate nor whatever post graduate degree that determines a person's value. Knowledge and certificates can be easily grabbed, but character takes a lifetime to be formed.
• Before, I wanted just a small digicam. Now, even if time comes when I already have money to buy one, I think I will wait for the time when I can already purchase a professional cam.

Those are all for now.

Princess Diana is back!

Last night, upon arriving at the dorm, roommate Renzy, who sells imported perfumes and cameras online, told me a certain Princess is looking for me and that she is again staying in the house. I asked her who that Princess was. Then a few seconds after, I remembered only one princess knows me -- my ex-roommate Princess Diana.

I was surprised by what Renzy told me because I thought Ces, nickname of my ex-roommate and now a present roommate again, is in the US now for the last thing I learned about her was that she was preparing for the NCLEX (National Council Licensure Examination - an examination for the licensing of nurses in the United States) and a relative is processing her papers in the States.

Ces is the 2nd loudest housemate I have so far, next to Love the Atenian. She is my closest roommate that even when she left the house last year, we still continued our communication. She rented her space only for a month because she is still under training for a new job where she is the would-be Operations Manager. Huwow!

She is so kikay, maarte, and very true to herself. I think we both missed each other that when she arrived while I was watching Dahil May Isang Ikaw (oh, the Echo-Tintin tandem is always a hit, and the way they kiss each other feels like their very much used to the activity, nakaka-inlove, sobra!), we had tilian to the highest pitch and beso-beso to the max.

We slept at around 11PM, the time when I am usually dreaming already during a regular day since my second batch of roommates left the house. We told each other latest stories of ourlives and at the same time I oriented her to the new policies in the house and the new housemates she'll be meeting.

She thought I was still the conservative type she first knew, but I told her things have change, not drastically though. Haha.

I know she is moving to a new place soon and I'll miss her again. But I hope the bond will still be there despite distance.

Test post; blogger is still dizzy.

I am still dizzy, sleepy, and want to eat more lutong bahay still, but I want to do this post. I'll try my very best to articulate and observe writing rules, but if you think I didn't, well, it must be the supposed-to-be-long-weekend hangover.

It goes...

My officemates and I were hesitant if we still had to pursue the trip to Bicol since typhoon Santi was set to landfall Friday midnight in Infanta, Quezon. Though we would not pass the place of the typhoon's eye, our relatives, friends, and officemates were nervous on our decision to still pursue the trip because the landfall time was the time when we were supposed to be in Quezon Province and the typhoon was so strong and big.

When I was still in the office, every hour starting 2PM, I kept on calling Peñafrancia Tours to ask if travel would still be pursued and to book a ticket for Lawrence on the same bus Yhen and I would be riding on. The bus line was consistent in saying they would proceed with the scheduled travels.

We arrived at Araneta Center at 6:15PM. There were so many people, as expected, who were all rushing. I think everybody knew about the typhoon but no bus line announced postponement of travel, so business as usual. We bought many food and water in preparation for a stranded travel.

The bus left the terminal at 8:30PM. There was no traffic, very minimal rain drops, but noticable wind. After the first stop over in Lucena City, we were stranded in a forest-like area. All the buses stopped for a reason we were not sure about. All of us just noticed the wind was intense that we were like on a boat in the ocean and the rain was really heavy. Our bus, along with the others bound to Bicol, stopped for an hour while chilling due to extreme coldness.

After that halt was another halt, but this time was for five hours. There was no rain nor wind. But we found out water about 50 meters away from us was at chest level. All the bored passengers went down the bus to take pictures of the flood, smoke, eat, drink, and urinate on the road. (The three of us were among those road urinaters. ahahaha.)

At about past 9AM, the driver decided that the bus dive into the water and brave the flood. The pieces of lugguage in the compartment were placed inside the bus. The Atimonan (Quezon) residence where saying bad words at us for they did not want us to smash with the water because some houses would be affected by the water current the bus would be making. The most frightening part was when we reached the chest-level water. All eyes were on us. Whew! But after doing in slow motion the "This is it challenge" made by Santi, all passengers applauded the driver for his idea and initiative. All the buses did it, but Peñafrancia did it first and all others followed. I salute Kuya Driver for doing such. Thanks much Kuya!

I was teary eyed after crossing the flood because I do not know how to swim and I get soffucated easily that I might die in that moment.

The bus arrived at Legazpi City at 5PM and I arrived home at 6PM. So it was more than one whole day spent for travel, how was that? My hips were aching and I didn't deficate that day. Good thing I ate papaya after breakfast last Sunday so my tummy activities went to its normal routine after finally deficating.

Oh by the way, the Legazpi City Central Terminal is oh so, beautiful. It isn't fully done yet but it really is beautiful. Applause!