Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Paranoia or something

Have you ever experienced the state of decision making wherein you have decided option A long long time ago that you have been preparing for it but it seems the preparation is still not enough? Option A is oah, so hot and risky but once you get it's meat, oh, paradise. And then, here comes options B and C, wherein option B is still, safe but not much; while option C was never-in-your-life expected yet also seemed to be OK and safer.

Have you ever experienced setting your mind to be in 'that' state a few months from now, yet some very minor things are hindering you and those very minor things were never expected to be a hindrance at all?

Well, as for me, I am guilty in that state that I do not know if this is a paranoia or something. I just want to be busy and jolly to forget this stressful thinking. When things get so slow and my environment becomes silent, this thinking strikes my mind that it catches me tuliro at 'di malaman ang gagawin, naks, that's from Sponge Cola's song Tuliro, one of my favorites. Oh, I miss Yael, I seldom see him in TV now.

Last night I told Lawrence I'm so stressed that I wanted to puff a stick of cigar to release this. Haha. He got mad at me. We were like father-and-daughter; he being the father explaining to me the effects of smoking, and I being the daughter reasoning out that I need to release the stress.

Oh Lord, I don't know if I am just overwhelmed by the influx of options, which came all at the same time. But I am definitely sure I am lucky on this. I thank You a lot for lending me talents and patience (and beauty?). Help me to repay You in the proper way. Help me to decide properly for the good of the majority.

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